Sometimes, often, life happens when you least expect it. Like you’re chugging along, asking yourself if you’re ready to truly open your heart, and then you get scared so you retreat. And then your therapist gives you a good talking to, tells you that you need to enter the holidays with an open mind and embrace the fact that anything can happen.
And then it does. Boom. Right in your lap. Where did you come from?
I met someone special. He’d say the same about me. He HAS said the same about me. To my face. I went to a party with my hair and nails done and spent the night with a giant smile on my face, expecting nothing, but open to anything. And then I felt him. Before I even saw him. I knew he was there. And I looked up at the balcony and saw him smiling down on me.
I haven’t wanted to write about it, nickname him, anything. I don’t want to jinx it. Except I don’t believe in jinxes anymore. I believe in living with intention. And dating mindfully. He’s not perfect. Neither am I. We’ve been on two dates and I’ve already talked myself into some nutty places, and then out of them again (thanks friends).
I don’t know what kind of runway we have, in terms of time together. But I’m curious AF to learn how this story plays out, and how it butts up against the stories I tell myself that tend to be rooted in fear and not truth. My mantra for 2019 is “Uncertainty is exciting!” I am learning to surrender to the now and also in my practice to let go of trying to control the outcome. It’s tough when you’re a daydreamer like me.
So all I will say is that I met someone. Someone as romantic as me, who makes me laugh and whom I make laugh, who meets me at my level, who doesn’t play games and who is open with his heart. Someone magical.
Happy New Year, readers.